Arjune Das

Adolf Hitler : A Self help Diamond Mine

“If you want to shine like the sun, you must want to burn like it”. Guess who said this? No, not a dialogue from the Game of Thrones. The devil-hero, Adolf Hitler said this. We were being taught about the World Wars in history and today’s topic was Hitler and the Nazi Party. I just fell in love with Hitler. Our history teacher told us about his autobiography, ‘Mein Kampf’ and I immediately wanted to read it. So, when I am home, I downloaded a PDF version and forgot my lunch (got scolded by mom) and started reading it.

He is a self help freak. A diamond mine for self help advices. Here is an advice Hitler’s childhood gave me.

You must be dictated by yourself

When Hitler’s father was thirteen, he ran away from home. He went to a nearby city, Vienna, where with extreme sufferings and hardship, he began to learn to trade. With endless misery, when seventeen, he gave up trading and wanted to become something greater. He made his dream come true, he became a civil servant.

As a stubborn man with such a background, he also wanted Hitler to be a civil servant. His only aim and goal was to make Hitler a civil servant. But, Hitler had other ideas. He was a stubborn. He would never be a civil servant-he dreamt to be a painter, an artist.

His father said,”An artist ?”,”No, never as long as I live”. Hitler wanted to get admitted to a school where art was one of the main subjects. But his father sent him to an academy where there was nothing called ‘art’.

Hitler was furious. He stopped studying. The father-son fight went to the extent that Hitler would be sent away from home. But, some days later, his father died. Hitler’s persuation made his mother send him to an art academy.

Instead of following his father’s death wish, Hitler became very happy. Now, he wouldn’t have to be a civil servant. He was good at painting. He loved painting so much, that he even forgot his father and his father’s wishes for it. This was Hitler.

You should not go upto this extent to support your decisons, but you should really stand for them. By really I mean really. You, and only you must decide for yourself.

A twelve year old Hitler chose his occupation to be a painter, opposing his 55 year old dad. You are the one who controls yourself. You are the one to make decisions, any decisions, all decisions for yourself. Hitler just liked painting and so he wanted to be a painter. So the conclusion- you must be dictated by yourself.

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Why and How to Compliment Others and Yourself

I was sitting in the second-last bench in the super-tiring English class, when my friend beside me whispered, “Hey, it’s a long time since we have kissed, like for two months, I’ve not kissed her”. He was an average guy but had great luck with girls. ’Her’ meant his two year old nerdy girlfriend (very cute). So, they have not kissed for two months. “Tell me how I will kiss her”. He must have read some of my blogs! I said solemnly, “Just kiss”. He didn’t seem satisfied.

Next day, I saw a huge box of chocolate labelled ‘Compliments’ pooping out of his bag. I thought that day was his birthday! But, unfortunately, he gave the box to his girlfriend and said “I love you very much”. Wow, we all knew that (laugh). She was hesitant, but took it. I knew he was expecting a kiss. Forget it, she gave a quick smile and went to her music class. So, this was his way of kissing and getting kissed. He was like, “Wait a min, at least I will kiss you” in his mind. So, complimenting with a box of chocolates worth Rs. 500 doesn’t work.

If you see its meaning, ‘compliments’ will be defined as ‘admire or praise someone for something’. We all like to get compliments. And most of us like to compliment others. But, 99% of the total compliments are done in a wrong way.

True Compliments, False Compliments and Unconditionality

Think about the last time you complimented someone, your mom, girlfriend, boyfriend, anyone. Why did you compliment them? Did you really wanted to praise and appreciate or just wanted something in return? A compliment isn’t a compliment anymore when it is done for getting a favour. Why does a random guy at a bar buys girls drinks? So that they would sit and talk with him. Why does your bestie tell his girlfriend that she is beautiful and he is so affected by her? So that she likes him and praises in return. These aren’t compliments, these are deals. Everyone will see through this underlying theory and you are just fucked off. These are false compliments.

Compliment when you are genuinely inspired. And compliment directly. Compliment yourself often, but only when you are genuinely proud of yourself foe a great reason (not for getting a superb date) Do not mirror talk. It sucks.

One day in history classroom, I told a girl she is very beautiful (she frowned, I always found her beautiful. Nothing special). Okay, so after, like, four days, she laughed on something and I said, “Wow, you look so cute when you cock up your nose while laughing” And she blushed.

One afternoon, I was strolling down the local park and saw a girl of my age walking towards me. I didn’t knew her. She was totally stranger. She was very beautiful. By very, I mean very. So, I literally stopped her and said that she was gorgeous. She just gleamed. I knew, this was one of the best compliments on her beauty she had ever received. I do not compliment expecting others to give something in return. I do not compliment for a reaction. I do not care what others think. I do not care about their reply. I just want to express myself to them at that moment and that’s it. No strings attached. This is true compliment, this is rare. Feel like this sometimes and see for yourself how it affects your life.

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Why and How to be Confident

*Hell yeah!!! I’m the king of the world!!..wait a min..I forgot my mickey mouse pants…*

Google defines self confidence as “A feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities and judgement.” You may have great self confidence. If you are a sweaty palm teen like me who cares nothing except getting ‘Chicken Dinners’, then your self confidence level needs upgrading, really. Chances are, you are reading this post because you want to be confident. You want to feel empowered and want to trust yourself.

True Confidence

True confidence is simply caring less about others. It is depending and being into your thoughts/emotions/feelings/decisions, etc. rather than into others. It is investing in yourself. That doesn’t mean you should not invest in others, but not more than they invest in you. This goes very theoretical, let me be a bit practical.

Most of the advices say,”Fake it until you make it”. I faked it, but never made it. ‘Faking’ is a synonym of being unconfident. You can try it yourself. To girls, how attractive a man is a measure of his confidence. The more confident he is, the more attractive he will be perceived as. This can be equated as

Confidence ∝ Attractiveness

Maths in school..maths here too, oh no. Lets say bye bye to this blogger. You can leave if you wish, but some super exciting paragraphs are still left!

Confident people are trusted. Think about the most confident people you know and how you trust them. To girls, if you are super confident, you will be perceived as you see a gorgeous girl with greatly sculpted *you know it*. If you have zero confidence, they will perceive as you see a girl with a missing teeth and worst breath. You know why you falter with girls? I will give you a free preview. It has nothing to do with how you talk, how you stand or what you say. Words and looks are merely symptoms of a greater problem. This problem is the inability to make yourself vulnerable (which will be explained later). Confidence is the only solution to this problem. Vulnerability builds confidence. However, women getting attracted to confidence differs from age group to age group, from culture to culture, and from individual to individual. But desire for confidence is universal. Lack of confidence is also a turn off for most guys, but not so much as girls. And, your confidence level is not so much dependent on your genetics and your testosterone level.

False Confidence

After spending most of your life being unconfident, it is really hard to build confidence. So, most of the guys practice false confidence. False confidence is to objectify women. It is to treat others like shit, and get treated like shit in return. Women who have the patience to be treated with false confidence are falsely confident/unconfident themselves. It is often taught by that macho elder guy who bullies others. In the mind of false-confident people, there is performance going on. They are behaving like that just to attract others which makes them needy and therefore unattractive. Confident women will reject these men in a snap of fingers. So, beautiful girls will not fall into your ‘acting like Varun Dhawan’. It is very harmful for you. It creates anger and disrespect for oneself.

Vulnerability as the Key to True Confidence

Vulnerability is totally different from weakness. It is a strong form of power. Vulnerability is to express your true self (yes, true self, body hair and all). It is being ok with what you already are. Practicing vulnerability builds true confidence. A man who is vulnerable is not afraid to express his true self to the world and is not afraid of what others think of him. Practicing vulnerability is not easy and really painful at first. It is unsexy. But, slowly you will be used to it. Slowly, you will find it totally ok to be imperfect, totally ok to not flush toilet, totally ok to make mistakes. Girls will not hate you for making mistakes, they will like you for being ok with making mistakes. How to be vulnerable? Just be you (as if this sentence even means anything). Just don’t lie. Ever. Start by counting the lies each and every day you tell others and to yourself. Then try to tell less lies each day. Don’t impress people. Try this and see for yourself how they brighten up and get impressed by you. You are who you are who you are. Be you. Truly you.