self help – The Self-help Blog by Teen

3 Awesome Fashion Hacks for Guys

Confused about dressing well? Yeah. I was too. But, after investing 30+ hours into fashion, I have come up with these tips for making every guy’s life easier, sexier, stylish and comfortable!

Dress to your personality

You yourself define your dress, do not be defined by your dresses. If you are a manager of a business firm, wearing a torn jeans and hoodie is a total failure. And a college guy wearing a $200 suit will also be a total failure. Just be who you are—and dress to your personality. If you are a DJ, then dress like one. If you are a doctor, then dress a bit formally. If you are a rockstar, then—wear sleeveless jackets-with-no-buttons exposing your abs.

Wear dresses that fit

Most of the people wear dresses that are too big or too small. And they feel really awkward when they put on a fitting one for the first time. Wearing an unfitting expensive dress will be less intimidating than wearing a mediocre but well-fitted one.

How to know if a dress will fit?

*Your shoulder seams should not lag, or should not fall short. They must rest on your shoulders just after the collar bone.

*If full-sleeved, your cuffs should not extend past the wrist bone.

And your pants—

*The bottom of your pants/jeans should rest gently on the top of your shoes. There should not be more than one ‘break’ in your jeans—a break is a natural fold from them resting on the top of your shoes.

*Your pants should never sag from your waist, even when leaning or bending over. Plumber’s cracks are never attractive.

Match well

*your belt should match with your shoes and/or accessories.

*If you are wearing dress pants, your socks should match your pants. If wearing jeans, your socks should match your shoes.

*Your accessories must be all gold or all silver.

Take a female to shopping. Their advice will really help you.

2 Stages of Relationships

The Romantic Stage

You love your partner too much, and he/she loves you too much too. He/she is always in your mind. And, you are always on his/her mind too! Life becomes awesome. You think you too are ‘made for each other’. You two would get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. This is the stage of romantic love. It stays for just the first 1-3 months of your relationship. Everything is perfect and okay at this time. You always like each-others company, you smile a lot. You would date regularly, text very much, and try to get closer all the time. This is the romantic love stage in your relationship.

The Committed Stage

Surprisingly, all the romance slips out of the window after a couple of months. Or, does it? You two still feel deep love for each other. You two still tease each other, and still date. Your relationship has matured—the second stage has started. This is the committed stage. Most of the times, the commitment is unspoken. But, you two feel a deep connection between each-other, though sometimes you ignore your partner, or he/she humiliates you.

4 Tips for Staying Fit in your Busy Life

You work to earn money. You earn money to be happy. But, you are so overworked now—see, at this age you are so grumpy, how much grumpy will you be as a grandfather/grandmother?

Exercise has thousands of benefits and largely influence our lives. (I don’t need to say that!)

Staying fit is not getting six-packed abs. It is for normal functioning of the body and mind. If you are fit, you are 60% less prone to all the infectious diseases. But, you already know that. The problem is, where is the time? Don’t worry. Here are 4 tips for staying fit in your busy schedule.

Get adequate sleep

You will not get the benefits of whole day of workout if you don’t sleep enough. Most of the restoration process gets done in sleep. Growth hormone is secreted only in sleep. Sleep for 6-8 hours. If you don’t get enough time at night, take naps. Sleeping makes you energetic—so vital and reduces stress, anxiety and depression. But, do not even use sleep pills. There are plenty of natural sleeping techniques.

Do the exercise which you like

Suppose, you like to play soccer. But you join a swim club instead—only for ‘the sake of being fit’. It is not going to work. By doing the exercise you like, happiness-hormone endorphin gets released, which makes you happy and has countless effects on health. You will also feel more grumpy after doing 1 hour of sad-faced-workout. And, chances are, you will not continue it for a long time. So, opt for the thing you like. Hit the gym if you like it. Join a basketball club if you like it. Any outdoor sport is good.

Workout for 5 days a week

I know. It is not easy to make up the time. But, if staying fit is important to you (it should be), you must get the time. Any time, even at midnight it is ok to workout (and fun too!). For optimum results, exercise for 1 hour a day, 5 days a week. Anything less than that is not sufficient.

Eat healthy

Make an oath, “I will cut out all artificial foods from now on”. It is impossible to cut out all, but not very hard to avid most. And all means all. You will get 60% of the results you wanted if you follow this oath.

Though genetics has a great role to play in your fitness, it is not very hard to be in great shape. Start from today—this moment. Throw the candy you are sucking.

The Success Paradox

So true. Read it again. “…and most of all, love of what you are doing”

When I was 9, I aspired to be a professional singer. Day and night, I would dream about throwing concerts in major cities, coming on TV shows, my Youtube channel getting 100k likes. I would work in movies and be a worldwide sensation.

Now, I laugh. Really, so immature (but its ok at that age). I was so sure to be a professional singer. But, though it says that nothing is impossible, it is impossible for me. And for every guy like me—who dream.

A study says that for being perfect at something, at least 24 hours of effort should be put into it per week for 10 years! You have to spend shit-tons of time and effort into something for perfection. And to be the singer of my dream, the amount of time I will have to spend is more than my life-span! It would take 50+ years of constant effort to fulfil my dream. Now, I am 15. After 50 years of effort, I would be singing breakup songs at 65.

But, there is a problem. Even if I make constant effort for 50 years, I would never be a singer. Why? Because I would not make the effort in the first place.

To unpretzel your mind. I do not like singing. I only like the fame and riches as the result of 50+ years of effort.

That being said, I am at the foothills of Mt. Everest. Thinking about the summit, but not climbing much. So, I do not put effort, but only like to enjoy the results.

If you want to be successful, you should not want to be successful in the first place. Confused? This is the ‘Success Paradox’.

You should want to do that thing (put effort into it), in which you want to be successful, for being successful.

So, if you want to be successful in life, think again in which aspect you will shine.

I like writing. I do not want to be great famous writer. I just want to write. That’s it. Simple.

I just write for the sake of writing.

By this mindset, I can be a successful writer. But not a successful singer—as I don’t sing for the sake of singing.

So, you must not want to be successful, rather you must love outing effort into that aspect.

You should love climbing and forget the summit—you should wish that the summit never comes—so that you can climb forever—this is your love for climbing (and you will reach the summit, obviously)

2 Relationship Advices from a 15 Year Old

Sometimes, you are really confused. What to do? And what not to? Many if us are super-confused in romantic relationships (hey that’s me). You want to make your relationship better. You want to connect with him/her emotionally—you want to love him/her madly and want to make her/him love you madly. If you think your relationship is a mess, don’t fret. Here are 2 really great advices (really, read yourself).

Fight (sometimes)

Yeah. I mean it really.

Let, your girlfriend be a selfie-holic. She loves to look good, and you love her looking good (obviously).

Before going out, she goes to the bathroom. You wait. One hour. Two hours. She does all the what-girls-do-there things and asks you about her look. Sometimes, she looks very, very beautiful. Sometimes, she looks like your unshaven bestie. You love to say her beautiful when she is, but hate to say her looking bad when she literally looks like a clown.

Most of the guys in this situation will nod there head ( that she is beautiful), just to avoid conflict.

But I will say it. “You just look like the neighbour’s pug”. She hates it. Again goes to the bathroom (oh no). You again wait for an hour. Or, some f-words gets spitted on you.

This is very important. You are being honest. This builds trust. She/he is not going to trust you if you lie. F-it. Be you. He/she is going to like (and trust) you for being honest. Actually she/he gets quite attracted. Try it sometimes and see for yourself. This builds trust—most important for any relationship. So, next time be you and be honest and fight. The above was a silly example, conflict in greater things also.

Conflict is not only good, but necessary for relationships.

Its okay not to talk and ignore

Suppose you are very busy. Suppose you don’t have the mod. Oh oh the soccer match is starting, or your friend texts you. Then you ignore him/her. Its totally okay. And like fighting, necessary. Because it shows your honesty which builds trust.

Nowadays, I’m very busy for our coming exams. I have not talked with my girlfriend for days. One night, I got time and found her online. Hurray! I said hi. She replied with my ex’s new video clip (pissed off). Really. I just said good night. She send a ‘nooo’ and a crying emoji. But, I texted with my bestie instead—because—its totally okay (and necessary).

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How to Stop Procrastinating

Yeah. Today is the day. Now is the time.

For a week, I have not written a single word, and the next day I shall post my new article. Our second semester exam starts from next week. To add toppings, I have not studied a bit.

For a week, I have done literally nothing productive. So, today evening, my adrenaline rushed—I will write 400 words for my blog. But—that phone—that mesmerizing, crappy video game Pro Evolution Soccer—and oh oh, she is online!

Okay, I’ll just chat for 5 minutes, But then my mom, “Go and get some sugar from the shop, if you want coffee”. I would hate going, but I hate no-sugar-coffee more. I went. What a waste of time. I was walking along a lonely road when surprisingly I found the topic for my next article…Procrastination. I have been procrastinating so much lately.

I came home. My phone said a ‘hello’ from her, but I put it aside. Then was study time. But, what was more important? Studying or blogging? So I started writing my article.

There is a secret to stop procrastination. I have not written for a week, so I did not feel like writing. But a soon a s I wrote just a paragraph, I wanted to write more.

So, this is the secret—do something. Do something. Something can be anything relevant.

As a general rule, we get inspired by something (or someone). The next logical step after inspiration is motivation. Inspiration drives motivation, and motivation in turn drives

Emotional Inspiration → Motivation → Desirable Action

This is the general rule.

But, there is a hack. This is not a one way equation, but an endless chain.

Inspiration → Motivation → Action → Inspiration → Motivation → Action → Etc.

Now, the secret is to break the loop like this.

Action → Inspiration → Motivation

Your action, any action (relevant), will inspire you. Inspiration will motivate you. In turn, motivation will cause more action.

I procrastinate a lot. For example, I have to design my website—but I don’t feel like it. So, I tell myself that I will just design the header. As I design the header, my heart pumps faster, mind goes light speed, adrenaline rushes high—hell yeah. This is more addictive than PES or PUBG. I will design my whole website.

I call it the ‘Do Something’ Principle.

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Adolf Hitler : A Self help Diamond Mine

“If you want to shine like the sun, you must want to burn like it”. Guess who said this? No, not a dialogue from the Game of Thrones. The devil-hero, Adolf Hitler said this. We were being taught about the World Wars in history and today’s topic was Hitler and the Nazi Party. I just fell in love with Hitler. Our history teacher told us about his autobiography, ‘Mein Kampf’ and I immediately wanted to read it. So, when I am home, I downloaded a PDF version and forgot my lunch (got scolded by mom) and started reading it.

He is a self help freak. A diamond mine for self help advices. Here is an advice Hitler’s childhood gave me.

You must be dictated by yourself

When Hitler’s father was thirteen, he ran away from home. He went to a nearby city, Vienna, where with extreme sufferings and hardship, he began to learn to trade. With endless misery, when seventeen, he gave up trading and wanted to become something greater. He made his dream come true, he became a civil servant.

As a stubborn man with such a background, he also wanted Hitler to be a civil servant. His only aim and goal was to make Hitler a civil servant. But, Hitler had other ideas. He was a stubborn. He would never be a civil servant-he dreamt to be a painter, an artist.

His father said,”An artist ?”,”No, never as long as I live”. Hitler wanted to get admitted to a school where art was one of the main subjects. But his father sent him to an academy where there was nothing called ‘art’.

Hitler was furious. He stopped studying. The father-son fight went to the extent that Hitler would be sent away from home. But, some days later, his father died. Hitler’s persuation made his mother send him to an art academy.

Instead of following his father’s death wish, Hitler became very happy. Now, he wouldn’t have to be a civil servant. He was good at painting. He loved painting so much, that he even forgot his father and his father’s wishes for it. This was Hitler.

You should not go upto this extent to support your decisons, but you should really stand for them. By really I mean really. You, and only you must decide for yourself.

A twelve year old Hitler chose his occupation to be a painter, opposing his 55 year old dad. You are the one who controls yourself. You are the one to make decisions, any decisions, all decisions for yourself. Hitler just liked painting and so he wanted to be a painter. So the conclusion- you must be dictated by yourself.

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